


Screw The Rules

by Jar_Of_Dreams



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is done, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus is giving him comfort, Romance, Shadowhunters - Freeform, and it helps with the emotional pain that Malec causes, i don't really know what i'm doing, s01e06 Of Men and Angels, starts with episode 6, they're both feeling alone, this is my first fic on here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-05-25 21:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6211456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jar_Of_Dreams/pseuds/Jar_Of_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Screw the rules. Screw them. Screw all of this.” Alec was done. So done with everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Screw Everything

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on here.  
> I wrote this through my emotional pain, that was caused by Malec. (both in the books and in the series)
> 
> Also I'm not native english. I'm actually german...so yeah. Please excuse mistakes. :)

“Screw the rules. Screw them. Screw all of this.” Alec was done. So done with everything.

  
Without further thinking he left the institute, just stopping by in his room to grab his gear. He was furious and sad at the same time. He knew he said, that he would do anything to help his family, but he didn’t mean marrying some girl. He felt useless and unloved. He wasn’t worth anything and nobody really needed him. Even though they took him hunting and wanted him to save the family honour, they didn’t really NEEDED him. They could make it without him. He was only a means for the purpose, but nobody really cared, what he wanted or what he felt.

  
He felt broken and frustrated. What should he do now? He knew, that he needed to go out of the institute, but where should he go? He had nothing. He was a nobody. Unwanted and Unneeded.

  
“Why am I even on this earth when nobody needs me?”, he mumbled with a deep breath.

  
But then he remembered something. _Magnus_. He said he needed him, even though he could have asked Jace or Clary for some strength. _He is the only person, who seems to really need me at the moment._

  
Without any more thinking he began to run in the direction of Magnus’ loft, just hoping he was still required. His lungs were burning by the time he arrived at the building, but he didn’t care. Taking two steps at the same time he was quick to reach the door to the loft. He was surprised to find it unlocked, but didn’t have enough time to think about it. Jogging down the hallway, he looked into every room to search for the warlock. When he arrived at the living room he saw him, sitting in front of Luke, who was lying on the sofa. Magnus’ Hands were glowing with a blue light, trying to heal Luke.

  
He was pulled out of his trance, when the warlock’s eyes began to flutter closed and he was slowly falling to the side. With a quick spurt he was on his knees beside Magnus, catching him, before he could fall to the ground. The warlock looked up to him, his eyes tired and exhausted. “Help me.”, he spoke out of breath and hold his right hand up. “I need your strength.”

  
For a second Alec hesitated, looking between Magnus’ face and his hand. But then he remembered: _He is probably the only one, who really needs me. He could have asked Clary and Jace for strength, but here he is, rather draining himself, than asking for their help._

  
“Take what you need.”, he said with an unexpected confident voice, that surprised himself. He held his right hand up for Magnus to take, which he did, followed from a small smile reaching his lips. Alec put his left hand on the warlocks back to help him steady himself, when they were both sitting up to have a better reach on Luke.

  
Alec closed his eyes, whilst Magnus took the energy, that was necessary, from him. The feeling he got was indescribable. Although he felt that he lost some of his strength and it was drained out of him, he also felt like he was given something. It began in his hand, slowly wandering up his arm to the rest of his body, warming up his heart. He felt oddly connected to the warlock. In a good way.

  
He didn’t even notice the others coming into the room, let alone them giving Luke whatever it was, that he needed. He only opened his eyes again, when he felt the warm feeling leaving him again. He opened his eyes, to find Luke looking up at Clary. Magnus’ hands weren’t glowing anymore and he let them sink, together with his body. Alec sat back down on his heels, eyes fixed on Luke. He seemed to be okay again. Magnus on the other side let himself fall against the Shadowhunter’s chest, eyes closed. Alec looked down at him in worry. Gently he squeezed the warlocks hand, that he was still holding, to get his attention. When Magnus looked up to him, he could clearly see the exhaustion in his eyes. “You okay?” - “Yeah”, the warlock answered, just managing a small nod.

  
The next few hours did go by in a rush. Alec felt like he wasn’t really himself, his mind was racing. After he helped Magnus getting to his feet, he held him up and walked him to his bedroom. Carefully he laid him down on his big bed, with Magnus passing out immediately. Alec watched him lying there peacefully, before he decided that he probably wasn’t comfortable like this. So he moved to take his shoes off, paying attention to not wake the warlock up again. Then he took the yellow blanket from under Magnus and tucked him up.

  
Feeling slightly creeped out by himself, he left the room, closing the door behind him. He didn’t know where to go, because he wanted to be alone, not having the strength to cope with the others right now. So he wandered off into the loft, having a little exploration. He didn’t know, if he was allowed to do it, but he wanted to find a place to be alone. In the end he got to the balcony without anybody noticing and sat down on a chair in the corner of it. With a deep breath of fresh air, he closed his eyes. His mind was racing with thoughts about his parents, the clave, his siblings and Magnus. He felt like his head might explode any second. He slid further down on the chair, forcing his thoughts to go away so he could fall into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Screw Them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite a bit longer, but that's just the way it turned out. I don't really have a special lenght to them, I'll just see how they turn out.

“Alec? Alexander? Come on, wake up.” A soft voice pulled him slowly out of his sleep. He forced his eyes to flutter open. Right in front of him stood Magnus, with a hand careful placed on his shoulder. He looked much better, than just a few hours ago. His make-up was smudged a bit, but he didn't have dark circles under his eyes and his eyes didn't look tired or exhausted anymore. His clothes were a bit crinkled and his hair was slightly messy from his sleep. 

  
“I must have drained more energy from you than I thought.”, the warlock said with a worried look on his face.

  
“It’s fine. I was just a little tired.”, Alec mumbled, voice still low and raspy from his nap.

  
“You know, you could have laid down in one of my guestrooms or on a sofa, but instead you chose an uncomfortable chair on my balcony. In fact, you could have laid down beside me in my bed. I wouldn’t have minded. Actually, I would have enjoyed it.”

  
“I… I mean…It’s fine. Didn’t want to bother anyone.” Alec wasn’t used to people being as forward as Magnus was, which led to him stuttering more than he usually did.

  
“You wouldn’t have bothered me, but still…I wanted to thank you. For helping me that is.”

  
“You don’t have to thank me for that.”, Alec answered.

  
“Well. I just did, so take it.” It may have come out harsher than he intended to, but at the same time he didn’t usually thank people for anything. Alec on the other side looked a bit taken aback, which made Magnus feel guilty right away. " _What does this Shadowhunter do to me"_ , he thought. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

  
Alec, who didn’t really know what to do, stood up and followed Magnus into the living room. To his surprise Luke wasn’t there anymore and so were the others.

  
“Where is everyone?”, Alec asked confused.

  
“Luke is in one of the guestrooms with Clary. Simon took off a while ago and I don’t have a clue where Jace is. Don’t really care either.”

  
Alec just nodded as an answer, because he didn’t really know what to say. Magnus left to god knows where and left Alec standing awkwardly in the room. He looked around himself, when his gaze fell on the sofa. It still had stains of blood on it, which began to dry slowly. Alec shook his head and left the room, searching for a bathroom. When he finally found one, he took a towel, that he found in one of the cupboards, and wet it. He hated leaving things messy. He always liked everything clean an organized. With the wet towel in his hand, he left the bathroom again and walked back to the living room. To his surprise Magnus was back again, doing something on a small table by the window. Alec still wasn’t sure, what to say to the warlock, so he just went over to the sofa and kneeled in front of it, trying to get the blood off of it, which was actually harder than he thought it would be.

  
“You know I have magic for that, right?”, he heard the warlock break the silence.

  
Alec glanced up to him, before looking down on the white towel in his hand, which was slightly red now. “I think you exerted yourself enough for one day.”

  
He began cleaning the sofa again, when Magnus spoke once more. “Drink break?” Alec looked up again, seeing the warlock holding a glass in his direction. He couldn’t help the small smile from creeping on his face. For once he did feel like somebody cared, which was quite stupid considering he was just offered a drink.

  
He pushed himself up on his feet again, walking around the sofa towards Magnus to take the drink from his hand. He wasn’t sure what the liquid in the glass was, but when Magnus snapped his finger and a little blue flame burned on its surface, he was pretty sure that it was something alcoholic.

  
“To us.” Magnus smiled and they clinked their glasses together. Careful to not take too much of the liquid, he took a sip of his drink. It tasted bitter and burned down his throat, which lead to him scrunching up his face. Magnus, who watched him, smiled into his glass, finding it funny that the Shadowhunter appeared to never have drunk alcohol.

  
Alec on the other side couldn’t stop thinking about why the warlock would specifically need him out of everyone. He spoke out his words before he could think about it. “Why did you ask for me, when Jace and Clary were both here?”

Magnus looked surprised but caught himself quickly. “Hm? Jace didn’t tell you?”

Alec looked at him confusedly and shook his head slightly. With a deep inhale of breath Magnus turned around and walked over to the window. “Doesn’t matter. Was a lie anyway.”

Alec couldn’t see his expression but he could see that the warlock touched his earring. “Are warlocks always as cryptic?”

  
Magnus couldn’t help but laugh a little bit at Alec’s question. “I’m not being cryptic. I’m being coy.” He turned around to face Alec again, his face becoming more serious. “Let me spell that of for you.” He walked closer to the Shadowhunter until he stood right in front of him. “I wanted to see you again.”

  
Alec tried to progress what Magnus just said. He wanted to see him again. Why would someone like him would want to see him again? He didn’t understand it, so he just asked. “Why?”

  
Magnus took another step towards him, his eyes never leaving his face. “Why did you come?”

  
_"Because you were the only one that really needed me",_ he thought to himself _._ But he couldn’t say that, could he? And apart from that, he wasn’t even certain if that was the only reason. So he looked anywhere but Magnus, trying to find an answer to the question. In the end he did go with a shrug. “I’m not sure?” It sounded more like a question than an answer.

  
There were different emotions running over Magnus’ face. From disappointment to hurt. Alec wasn’t really sure, but he could swear he saw a bit of resignation on it too. Magnus looked down for a second and Alec couldn’t stop thinking that he looked vulnerable in that moment. When his gaze met Alec’s again, his expression was serious, but also very honest. “For almost a century I’ve closed myself off to feeling anything for anyone…men or women. You’ve unlocked something in me.”

  
Alec, who was looking at Magnus the whole time, whilst he was speaking, broke the gaze now. No one has ever said something like that to him and he didn’t know what he should think about that or let alone how to react to it. He opened his mouth a few times, trying to say something, but he didn’t even know what he wanted to say.

  
Magnus saw him struggling and let his gaze fall, his eyelids fluttering in the motion. He looked so sad and vulnerable, but Alec still didn’t know what to say. His mind kept racing.

  
He was pulled into reality by his phone ringing. With a quick move he got his phone out of his pocket and turned around to take the call. He threw a quick glance back to Magnus, but the warlock turned around too, walking toward the window once again. “Hey. Hi mother.”, Alec answered the call. He listened to whatever his mother had to tell him, he didn’t pay full attention. He knew it was something about “needing” him back at the institute. His mind was still caught around what Magnus had said to him only a few seconds ago. He answered his mother with a short “Of course” and ended the call.

  
He turned around, seeing that Magnus was looking at him again. “Duty calls.”, the Shadowhunter explained, holding up his phone, whilst putting down his drink on the table.

  
“Ah Oh, the furrowed brow.”, Magnus said. When Alec looked up at him again, he noticed, that Magnus seemed to be his old self again. “Maryse must be recruiting you for something unseemly.”, he continued speaking, wiggling his eyebrows at the word “unseemly”.

  
He knew it was unfair to just leave after Magnus was honest to him and trusted him enough to tell him about his feelings, but he didn’t know what else he should do. He couldn’t just not go, when Maryse ordered him to come back. He always followed his orders and the rules.

  
“Uh listen Magnus. I… I wish I could. I-I-I just...I don’t know- “His stuttering, for which he hated himself, was interrupted by Magnus holding up a finger to the Shadowhunter’s mouth, his face showing a sympathetic look. “I understand.”, Magnus reassured him, a soft smile tucking at his lips.

  
When he let his hand fall to the side, to grab the drink from the table, where the Shadowhunter had put it, Alec couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He had the feeling, that Magnus was the only one truly understanding him, even though he only known him for such a short time. Of course his sister did understand him too and even Jace sometimes did, but not in the way Magnus did.

  
The latter was holding Alec’s glass towards him, offering it again. “Stay for just one more drink? And then decide.“ There was still a soft smile on Magnus face, when he looked into Alec’s eyes.

  
Alec knew, that he should say no, that he wasn’t supposed to stay, but he couldn’t say it. He didn’t want to. He was enjoying his time here and he felt more alive, than in the past few days. So he agreed. _"Screw the rules. Screw them"_ , he thought his words from earlier that day again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the new chapter. :)
> 
> Maybe give it some Kudos or leave a comment? I'll answer them all. :*


	3. Thoughts can be heavy sometimes

Alec didn’t take another drink from Magnus, because he knew that it wasn’t good for him and his not experienced self. If he would overdo it, he would sure as hell have a headache tomorrow morning.

"So tell me, Alexander. What is bothering you or are you just bored of me?”

They’ve both sat down on the couch, after Magnus cleaned it magically, and Magnus was telling him funny and embarrassing stories that had happen to him during his life. Alec liked listening to Magnus. His voice was smooth like honey and it calmed Alec in a way the Shadowhunter thought wasn’t possible.  But still, his mind kept on drifting of to his family and this whole damn situation.

“I-um-I’m sorry. I was just-“, Alec tried to explain himself, but he couldn’t find the right words. Why was he so nervous around the warlock? He couldn't even get out a whole sentence.

“Thinking?”, Magnus ended his sentence. “Yeah. I noticed. But I would like to know, what about.”

“Just…my family.”, Alec didn’t know what to tell him. That he was so far in the closet, that he was in fucking Narnia and nearly best friends with Aslan? That he was too damn scared to come out, because he couldn’t go back? That his family would want him even less, than they did right now?

“My, my, dear Alexander. You’re thinking about your family, whilst sitting across from a handsome warlock? You are one special guy.”

“I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to...”, Alec blushed and ducked his head. Magnus was right. He didn’t deserve the warlock’s attention. “I…should go.”

Alec wanted to stand up and leave, but Magnus pulled him down at his wrist again. “No you shouldn’t. You should tell me, what’s going on in the pretty head of yours. _And_ you should stop frowning or you will get creases.”

“Magnus…I…I don’t know what-…I mean.” Alec let out a frustrated sight, putting his head in his hands.

“Alec. You don’t have to tell me your whole life story, but sometimes it really helps to talk to someone about what is bothering you.”

“You sound like Izzy.”, Alec mumbled into his hands and Magnus couldn’t help but smile. Even though he knew that the Shadowhunter was conflicted, he also couldn’t stop from finding him cute sitting there like that.

“Well, if I’m the second person saying something like that, maybe you should take the advice.”, Magnus suggested, trying to pull Alec the right way. He still wasn’t sure, why he cared so much for the Shadowhunter, but he knew that he did. Even though it was quite scary for himself, considering he didn't feel anything like that for a long time.

“It’s just….my whole life is changing right now. Everything changed since Clary turned up. Our group dynamic is messed up, we broke the rules and my parents aren’t pleased with us anymore. They want me to get married to save the Lightwood name. They would hate me if they found out, that….”, Alec stopped, taking a deep breath, whilst realisingthat he said all that to someone he just knew for a few days.

“That you’re gay.”, Magnus finished his sentence once again, causing Alec to wince. “Sorry. Can I give you a bit of an advice?”

Alec shrugged, but then he gave a nod.

“This is your life. Maybe you should start living for yourself. Do what’s in your heart.”

Alec seemed to think about that for a while, staring at the coffee table in front of him. Magnus let him, figuring that it was, what the Shadowhunter needed. He always thought everything through.

Magnus wasn’t sure, if that was a good or bad thing. He knew quite a few people in his life, everyone at least a bit different from the others. He knew some people, who were like Alec, always overthinking everything. And sometimes that was a good thing, preventing them from getting hurt or from negative consequences for them or their friends and families, but sometimes it also stopped them from living their lives. They were always too scared to do, what they really wanted, thinking that something could go wrong. They wouldn’t take a risk for their own happiness, just always focused on what the other could think about them or would want them to do.

And Magnus got the kind of feeling, that Alec might be some sort of that type of people.

“Alec. You can’t always make other people happy and forget yourself in it. You have to think about yourself too sometimes.”, the warlock tried to convince Alec.

“And what do you think should I do then?”, Alec asked, a bit harsher than he intended to.

“What do you want to do?”, Magnus asked in respond.

“Ugh…I don’t know.” Alec was frustrated. More than just frustrated. He didn’t know what to think anymore, everything was just a big mess in his head, which he couldn’t sort out. His head began to hurt and he felt his eyes stinging with tears of frustration. He began to pull at his hair angrily, trying desperately to figure everything out.

He was so focused on his own mind, that he didn’t feel Magnus sitting closer to him on the couch, which is why he jerked a bit, when he felt a hand over his in his hair. “Alexander.”, a soft voice spoke, clearly closer to him, than it was before. “Calm down.” Magnus entangled their fingers carefully and began stroking the back of Alec’s hand softly, trying to comfort the Shadowhunter.

“I can’t figure it out”, Alec choked out, desperately trying to hold back a sob. Why couldn't he be enough for something for once?

“That’s alright. You don’t have to figure it out just right now. Give yourself some time.” Magnus still had his hand over Alec’s, when he felt it finally relax a bit, so he could pull it out of the Shadowhunter’s hair. He saw Alec’s other hand letting go of his hair too and finding its way to Alec’s forehead, which leaned on it heavily. “That’s better.”, Magnus told him, when he saw Alec relaxing a bit again. But when he went to pull his hand away from the Shadowhunter’s, Alec began to tense again, reaching out to grab Magnus’ hand again.

“Can you…I mean…It’s kind of grounding me and…”, Alec began to stutter, his face going red under the intense stare from Magnus.

“Alexander. You really need to learn, how to say what you want.”, Magnus told him firmly, but there was a small smile on his face, when he took Alec’s hand in his again. “I would love too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the new chapter. It was a bit of a view on how conflicted Alec is. Tell me what you think about it. :)
> 
> Also if you want to know, what I listen to, when I'm writing on this, here is my Malec Spotify playlist. Go and follow it and have a listen to it. :) 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/1133045976/playlist/55P1en89zSr1RoX3vBRkb
> 
> You can also tell me if you have songs, that remind you of Malec and I'll put them in there.


	4. Hurts Like Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter titel is from a song by Ruelle, if you didn't knew already. ;)

When Alec walked back to the institute the next morning, his mind was still messed up. They had spent the night on Magnus' couch, talking to each other. They stayed up late talking about irrelevant things, after Magnus figured, that the serious talk was enough for Alec for one day. The latter didn’t know when he fell asleep, but when he woke up the next morning, he laid on the sofa, with a blanket dropped over him.

It kind of freaked him out, that the warlock seemed to care so much about him and that he himself seemed to cared too. So he left without saying anything even though he knew it wasn’t fair, but at the same time he didn’t want to wake the warlock up, just to say that he had to leave.

So when he entered the institute, it was with a slight feeling of guilt. The fact, that he didn’t come back here yesterday, even though his mother had ordered him to, was adding to that feeling. He was glad, that he couldn’t see her anywhere, instead he found Isabelle in front of one of the monitors, doing what looked like was supposed to be his job. He felt the guilt in his body grow.

“Slept at Magnus’ last night?”, his sister asked casual with a smirk on her face.

“Didn’t do much sleeping.”, Alec mumbled.

“Oh really?”

Alec turned around, to look at Izzy again.

“It’s not like that. We were just talking.”, Alec said and there was vulnerability in his voice, for which he hated himself. He always found it hard to keep the wall he built over years up in front of his sister.

“So you talk to a warlock, you’ve known for a few days, but not to your sister, who you’ve known for years?”, Izzy asked, but she didn’t sound angry. There was more of desperation in her voice.

“I talk to you.”

“So you’re saying, that you just had a casual talk about your job and other irrelevant things with Magnus and not about any of your problems, you’ve bottled up for the past few days, month, maybe even years?” Now she sounded kind of angry and Alec could understand why, but it wasn’t that easy to him.

“It’s not like that Izzy. It’s just…you were right…about keeping things bottled up until they explode. They exploded last night.”, Alec admitted, even though it was hard for him, but he wanted to tell her and Magnus told him to start doing what he wanted. Besides, it felt like he needed to tell her.

Isabelle’s face went soft immediately. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”, he said, whilst being pulled into a hug from his sister. _“I’m not.”_ , was what his mind said.

 

*****

 

He found himself saying the exact same words not even a week later. He was laying on the floor, Jace and Isabelle hovering over him and Clary standing behind them. Jace was asking him, if he was okay and Alec found himself answering with “I’m fine” even though he wasn’t. Pain shot through his veins and his whole body was burning. He saw Jace drawing an Iratze on his skin, but he couldn’t feel it. He felt the pain growing with a fast rate, but at the same time his body became numb.

Alec wasn’t sure anymore, how this had even happened. He knew that they went out to the police station, trying to find the cup there and everything went good at first. But then Isabelle made a comment about Magnus and him and he was just off from that moment. Once they had the cup and met outside the police station, they were circled by demons. There was no other way than fighting them. His body went into fighting mode, but his mind wasn’t 100% in it. He had heard Jace calling his name and had turned around, but he was too slow. The demon already had his claws raised and stabbed them with full force into Alec’s shoulder. He fell down with the force of it, his head hitting the hard floor. He went unconscious for a moment and when he woke up again, he found Jace’ and Izzy’s face over him.

“The rune isn’t working. The poison has already spread too fast.”, Jace blurted out between gritted teeth. “We need to do something.”

“We need to bring him to Magnus.”, Isabelle said, already raising to her feet again. Alec had to notice, that his vision was blurred and he couldn’t really see her face. Their voices began to become muffled and his eyelids began to drop. “Jace.”, was the last thing he could get out, before everything went black.

 

*****

 

He woke up again, when he felt a jolt of pain shot through his body. It was so intense, that he arched his back and let out a long pained scream.

“HOLD HIM DOWN!”, a voice screamed. Alec recognized it, but his brain was too occupied with the pain and the heat, which was racing through his veins, that he couldn’t think of a face to it.

“I’m trying to.”, another voice panted out. Alec was almost certain it was Jace’ voice, but he couldn’t tell for sure.

“The poison has already spread too far! I need to do something! Right! Now!” It was the voice from before and even though it sounded familiar, he couldn’t get a grip to the owner of it.

His mind was occupied again, when a new kind of pain was washing through his veins. It was like fire and ice, both trying to push each other back to win the fight. But the ice seemed to be stronger, slowly pushing the fire away. The parts in him, that were freed from the fire and taken up by the ice, seemed to calm his body. The fight forced Alec to hold still, not being able to move.

When the ice had taken over the most of his body, he began feeling numb. The voices surrounding him were muffled and far away, as if they were in another room than him. He tried to force the darkness away, that was overcoming him, even though his eyes were closed, but he was helpless. At first, it was over rolling him gently, but it slowly built up speed and size, like a wave rolling towards the beach, just to crash down with such a power, that it pulled you with it back into the ocean.

The last thing he saw, before he drove into the ocean of darkness, was a smiling face in front of him. A face he recognized as the face to the familiar voice. A face that was so beautiful, that it calmed Alec immediately and scared him at the same time. A face that hunted him for the past few days, always on his mind. A face, that Alec wanted to see again and again.

It was Magnus’ face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the chapter. :)  
> Be nice and leave some Kudos or comments? Or maybe both? (I like to read your commets and they're quite motivating.) ^^


	5. It's A Beautiful Kind Of Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, that it took so long fo me to upload a new chapter and that it's not even that long, but I have a lot to do with Uni.  
> I'll try to upload every weekend from now on, but I can't promise anything. Also I rather keep the chapters shorter, than keep you waiting for too long. I hope that's okay with you. :)

The first thing he noticed when he drifted back into consciousness, was the soft light, that came through his eyelids. His body felt sore all over, but the burning, which had seemed to consume his body earlier, was now only a small blaze. The worst part of his body was his shoulder. There was a sting in it and he could feel his pulse rush through his veins. He was pretty sure it would hurt badly, if he dared to move. Apart from that, he had a steady pounding in his head, that was rather annoying.

Alec’s attention was directed to the noises in the room, when he heard a quite rustle of paper, but it was quite again right after that. The only noise he could hear now, was the traffic in the streets of New York.

Curious, about where he was, he slowly opened his eyes, just to close them right away. A painful groan escaped his lips, when he felt a sharp pain in his head. “Fuck.”, he mumbled, voice rough.

“ _Alexander_ , such a filthy word from such a beautiful mouth.”, he heard a low chuckle from across the room. This time he could put a face to it with ease.

Magnus seemed to notice, that Alec wouldn’t answer anything to that. Alec heard him moving around until he felt the bed - which he was pretty sure he was lying on – moving down on his right site. There was a snap to be heard and then he nearly jumped, when he felt a damp cloth on his forehead.

“I’m glad you’re awake again. You were out for a while, you know?”, Magnus mumbled, while running the washing cloth over Alec’s face. The Shadowhunter was surprised by the gentleness the warlock had in the act. He felt overwhelmed by it, not used to someone being this kind with him. The last time someone treated him so gentle, was when he was a small child and even there he was pretty sure the only person, who did treat him like that, was his mother.

The thought made Alec sad and he distracted himself quickly from it. “How long?”, Alec asked Magnus instead.

“Nearly a day.” This time Magnus voice wasn’t amused or sarcastic. He sounded serious and maybe a bit worried.

Alec scrunched up his face. “What happened...After the attack I mean.”

“Jace said something about a demon attack and you being stabbed into the shoulder with one of its claws, when he and your sister brought you here. You looked pretty miserable. When I moved to take a look on it, the demon poison was pretty far in your veins already. Took quite a lot of my magic to get it back out.”

“’m sorry.”, Alec mumbled.

“For what?”

“Draining your magic.” “ _I wasn’t worth the effort.”,_ he thought, but didn’t dare to say it out loud.

“Don’t be sorry for _that._ It was fairly worth it. I’d like having your pretty face around for a little while longer.” Alec could hear the smile in Magnus’ voice. Magnus always appeared to know exactly what he had to say to make Alec feel better. “Now tell me. What hurts? And don’t you dare keep something back.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”, Magnus just stated simply.

Alec drew in a resigned breath. “My head. And my shoulder…the rest is quite alright.”

Magnus gave a small hum and then Alec heard a snap. A second later he had soft fingers pressed to his temple. He felt his pain slowly fading away and leaving his head. Then Magnus moved on to his shoulder and did the same thing there, the pain fading away, leaving just a little bit of soreness.

“Better?”, Magnus asked.

Testing the water, Alec slowly opened his eyes again. This time the pain didn’t occur. The Shadowhunter blinked a few time, to adjust to the lightning in the room. He was a bit startled, to see Magnus so close to him, his hand still on his bandaged shoulder. When Alec realised, that he wasn’t wearing his T-shirt anymore, he began to blush. Quickly he let his gaze flick around the room. There was a lamp turned on in the corner of the room, next to the window and an armchair. On the armchair laid a book and Alec assumed, that Magnus was reading it earlier, which would explain the rustling of paper. Through the window Alec could see the skyline of Brooklyn. It was dark outside, the moon and the stars hanging heavy above the city.

“Yeah.”, Alec drew out a breath of relieve.

“Well that’s certainly good. But you should still sleep for a while.”

“I have to go back to the institute. Izzy and Jace-“

“Are already there and doing everything there is to do. I had to promise them to make sure you heal completely, before you go back. And I will keep my promise.”, Magnus tried to reassure him.

Alec made an unhappy noise, which drew a smile onto Magnus face. “If you sleep now, it will help the healing progress, you know?”

“Fine.”, Alec surrendered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments. ^^


	6. Bad Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has more drama and angst in it. I'm literally a drama queen. I live for the drama. xD

With a scream Alec startled out of his sleep. He was looking at the ceiling with his eyes wide open, trying to catch his breath. His mind was still racing with the pictures of his dream. When he slowly drifted back into reality, he realised, that he had soft, warm hands on his shoulders, which were holding him down firmly. The next thing he noticed, was a gentle voice mumbling kind words of reassurance.

“Alexander? Are you with me again?”, Magnus whispered, voice filled with concern.

Alec took a deep breath, feeling his whole body aching with the movement. He was hot and sweating all over. Now, that he realised he had just dreamed everything and he was still in Magnus apartment, he felt the tiredness and soreness again.

“Alec?”

“I’m awake…All good.”, Alec mumbled with a slight shaking in his voice.

“You okay? You started mumbling things in your sleep and began tossing around. I had to wake you up or you would have messed up your shoulder.” Magnus looked at him warily, before he began to remove his hands slowly from the Shadowhunter’s body.

“Yeah. I…I had a bad dream.” Alec frowned, thinking about it. Normally he didn’t dream much, especially about nothing that would categorize as a nightmare.

“You wanna talk about it?”, Magnus asked sympathetically.

“It was nothing major.”, Alec tried to brush it off. He was used to hide his feelings from everyone. Emotions were nothing but a distraction. That was what everyone taught him, but then he saw Magnus face and he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to tell Magnus everything. “I dreamed about the demon attack. Jace, Izzy and Clary were there too. We were fighting this demons, but then I got hurt. I couldn’t move anymore and there were more and more demons coming. I saw, that the others couldn’t make it alone and they were being injured too, but I was useless. I was screaming my lungs out, but nobody heard. And then you were there too and tried to help me, but you weren’t paying attention. There was a demon clawing you from behind, but I still couldn’t move and help. I looked around and…you all…there was blood everywhere….and- “Alec broke off, his throat tight.

“It’s okay, Alexander. You’re save here and I am too. And I’m 100% sure Isabelle, Jace and Clary are too. They’re probably sleeping in the institute right at this moment.”, Magnus tried to calm him down. He had a soothing voice, which helped. Alec tried to repeat his words over and over in his mind, until he felt the meaning of them really sinking in.

“Do you think you can sleep again?”, Magnus asked after a while.

“I don’t know.”, Alec mumbled. His mind was still racing, even though Magnus took the feeling of realness out of the pictures from his dream. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop thinking that something like could actually happen, even if it was unlikely.

“You should try. If you need anything, I’m right in the living room.” Magnus smiled at him, before he stood up from the bed and turned around to leave.

Alec felt a weird feeling, seeing Magnus walk towards the door. He felt panic rising in him, together with angst. He didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts and the pictures that haunted him. Pictures of his dream and pictures of the real life. Pictures from his childhood, from his family, from his job. His responsibility. Magnus gave him a feeling of safety and security. He felt things with Magnus, he didn’t know he could feel, but it wasn’t necessarily bad. He liked the things the warlock made him feel as much as they scared him.

“Magnus?”, Alec called out.

Intended turned around, a questioning look on his face.

“Could you…I mean…Could you maybe stay?”, Alec stuttered. He didn’t know what exactly he felt with or even for the warlock, but he knew he wanted him near him right now.

Magnus didn’t ask questions, just nodded understandingly. “Sure.” He went to sit down on the armchair in the corner of the room, but Alec moved to one side of the bed, making space for the warlock on the other side. Magnus, who caught the movement, looked surprised at Alec, which made the latter blush.

“You don’t have to.”, Alec mumbled. “I just thought, that maybe you liked to sleep too.” Explaining his intention, Alec blushed even more.

“You never cease to amaze me, Alec.”, Magnus had a big smile on his face, his eyes looking softly at Alec.

What Alec didn’t know was, that the warlock felt overwhelmed. He knew, that Alec always cared about others more than about himself, but Magnus still was a downworlder and Shadowhunters didn’t care about Downworlder’s needs, let alone would they offer to share something with them. Yet, here Alec was, offering to share the bed with Magnus, because he thought, the warlock needed sleep. Alec didn’t see him as a downworlder, he saw him for who Magnus really was. He saw him as a normal and equal person, just like himself.

Magnus wanted to make sure that Alec was really okay with it, that he wasn’t just offering because he thought he had to, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. His own need, to just lay beside the Shadowhunter and watch him sleep, was too big. He wouldn’t admit it, but knowing, that the Shadowhunter was safe in his apartment in his bed, made the warlock feel relieved. Magnus knew that he always got too attached too quick, but Alec was a whole new level.  The Shadowhunter had him the minute he saw him in the club. Magnus wasn’t sure, what it was about Alec, that made him feel the way he did, but he knew that he had never felt something like that in his nearly 400 years of living before. Alec just came into his life and began tearing the walls down, that Magnus had built around himself in the past few centuries and he was sure, that Alec wasn’t even aware of it.

Still smiling fondly at the Shadowhunter, Magnus made his way over to the bed. He laid down facing Alec, but leaving enough room to not pressurize him. Nevertheless, Alec seemed to be uncomfortable with the situation, that was unfolding right now, so Magnus decided to ignore his own want and make sure the Shadowhunter was okay. “You sure this is okay for you? I can just go and lay down in one of my other rooms.”

But the idea disturbed Alec. “No. Can you please stay? I don’t want to be alone.” It took all of Alec’s willpower to speak this words. Not because he didn’t want Magnus to stay, but because he hated to appear vulnerable. Normally he was really good with hiding his emotions, knowing that he had to with his job as a Shadowhunter, but Magnus was different. He was like a great escape, like a whole other world. All Alec learned about being a Shadowhunter didn’t matter with Magnus. The warlock understood and didn’t judge him. It was like Alec was transparent for Magnus, because the warlock could easily see into his mind. He always seemed to know exactly what to say to make Alec feel better about himself. Alec could be himself with Magnus. Not the Shadowhunter Alec, but the real Alec.

“If you want me to stay, I will stay.”, Magnus promised.

“Okay.”, Alec mumbled relieved. He turned to face Magnus, curled himself up and closed his eyes.

“Goodnight, Alexander.”, Magnus whispered.

“Goodnight, Magnus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Tell me your favourite part. :)  
> I love reading your comments and answering them, especially if you talk about what you liked and what not. ^^


	7. Everybody's got their demons (Even wide awake or dreaming)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question for you at the end of the chapter and I want you to answer it. I'll wait with the new chapter until I have some answers, because I'm really curious. :D

The next morning Alec woke to soft fingers stroking his fringe out of his face. He let out a content sigh and snuggled deeper into the warmth of the bed. That’s when he noticed something warm against his stomach. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked straight into Magnus’.

Both of them seemed to have moved closer to each other in their sleep, bodies nearly touching.

Magnus eyes were looking sleepily at Alec, his make-up smudged under them. His hair was messy from his sleep, but there was still a smile on his lips. Those lips, that were slightly puffy and wet. Alec couldn’t stop thinking about how they would feel against his own.

Shocked about his own thoughts, Alec blushed and looked down to his stomach quickly. With wonder he noticed, that there was a cat lying curled up between Magnus and him.

“The Chairman likes you.”, Magnus spoke. His voice was raspy from his sleep and it sent shivers down Alec’s spine.

“You have a cat?”, Alec asked surprised.

“Obviously.”, Magnus stated amusedly. “Life can get quite lonely as a warlock, you know? Not that I’m lonely right now.”

Alec couldn’t help, but blush again at Magnus’ statement. However, he couldn’t help but smile a little bit. Laying there with Magnus made him feel quite good, even though the presence of the warlock so close to himself made him a little uncomfortable.

Alec was scared of those feelings he felt for Magnus, because he never experienced something like that before. He was always happy with the life he had. Hunting down demons with Isabelle and Jace was his job and he was used to it by now. He never wanted more and he definitely would’ve never asked for more. But then Clary came tumbling into their life and everything turned upside down. Alec experienced things he never thought would be possible. He did things, he never thought he would do. And he felt things, he never thought he would be able to feel.

And all that because of Clary. He didn’t know, if he should be happy about it or angry. On one side everything went down from the moment she entered their life. On the other hand, he met Magnus because of her. The warlock, who made him feel so good, but also insecure. He never was so doubtful of his actions before, but now he always wanted to make sure he made the right decisions. _Especially_ around the warlock.

The thoughts he had next made him frown. _“I want to make sure, I do everything right with Magnus, because I want him to be happy, because I care about him, because I want him.”_ But it wasn’t the kind of want in the meaning of lust. No. The want was the need of Magnus in his life, in his future, by his side.

Alec was shocked about his thoughts, the realization hitting him hard. How could he already feel that way for someone he just met not even two weeks ago? What about Jace? He always thought he was in love with his parabatai, but now he laid here with Magnus and everything appeared to change.

Alec didn’t like changes. He loved structure, controlled procedures and clarity, especially in his mind, but now it wasn’t there anymore. Now he couldn’t do anything to stop the change. He had to let it all develop itself and maybe -just maybe- he even yearned for it by now.

“I think I need to go.”, Alec spoke suddenly, already sitting up.

“Why? I told you, you need to heal and everything is under control in the institute.”, Magnus asked him urgently.

“Yeah…I know, but I’m fine. Thanks…for healing me, I mean. But I really got to- “

“Go? That’s what you always do, isn’t it? You run away from situations you can’t control.”, Magnus interrupted him, with a voice, that grew angrier and louder with every word.

It was a shock for Alec, because Magnus was always the one, who understood him instead of yelling at him and judging him. Now however, Magnus appeared to be different about it. The smile, that he wore just seconds ago, was gone.

With furrowed eyebrows, Alec stood up from the bed, putting a distance between the warlock and himself and ignoring the soft pain in his shoulder.

“You don’t even know me.”, Alec mumbled cowed.

“I apparently know you better than you do yourself, let alone than your parents know you. Or do they know, that you are gay? Do they know, how much pressure is laying on you. Do they know you’re hurting? Do they- “, Magnus was cut off by a loud scream, that went through his every bone.

“STOP IT! SHUT UP!”, Alec looked around panic-stricken, trying to find a sweater or something else to through over his upper body. His eyes caught one of his sweaters lying on an arm chair. He was pretty sure either Izzy brought it here or Magnus had summoned it there.

With fast strides and heavy breath, he made his way over to the arm chair and grabbed it, pulling it over in a fast, fluid motion. Without looking back at the shocked warlock, he made his way out of the room, the apartment, the building, ignoring the voice calling after him, until he could finally breathe fresh air again.

His breath came out in fast and wavering heaps of air, panic rising with every minute. He couldn’t control his mind anymore. Every mistake, every feeling, every memory racing through his head. He had a whole other view on his life now. He always thought he was happy with how his life was going, but now he just longed for a different life. A life, in which he could be who he really was. A life, in which he could love, who he wanted to love. A life, in which he hadn’t had to kill. A life, where he could make his parents happy without making himself unhappy.

His head began to hurt and he could feel tears burning in his eyes. With slow steps he walked over to the brick wall of the building, leaning his forhead against the cold stones. He closed his eyes and tried to get his mind under control again. He couldn’t lose it now. The last time he did, he was a child, but now he learned how to control his body and his mind. He needed to keep it this way.

Alec was so focused on himself, that he didn’t hear someone approaching him, which is why he immediately jerked into an upright position, when a hand closed over his mouth from behind and he felt a sharp object pressed into his spine.

“I wouldn’t have thought that it would be that easy to get you, Alexander Lightwood.”, a deep voice growled into his ear.

Alec couldn’t even keep up with the situation, before he felt something hard hitting his head and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm....I'm sorry? (not really. xD)  
> What do you think will happen next? Who is this person and what do they want from Alec?   
> I want to hear your oppinions and guesses, so leave a comment. :)  
> P.S.: The new chapter is already finished and waiting. ;)


	8. I'm on my own, I'll call my own shots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is your long awaited chapter. I loved reading your comments and guesses and now you'll get answers.^^  
> I'm actually a little bit proud of this chapter, just because I feel like this turned out the way I wanted it. So I hope you like it.  
> The chapter title is from a song called Contol by Janet Jackson.  
> (P.S.: You get this a day early, because I have my Troye Sivan concert tomorrow. ;) )

Alec’s head was hurting and his hands and feet were numb. With a groan he opened his eyes and looked around. All he could see was an empty room with bare walls with only a small little window on the wall opposite of him and a door on his right side. He looked at himself and realised, that his feet were tied up together with a rope. He also noticed, that his hands were above his head and when he looked up, he them hanging from metal chains, which were moored into the brick wall. Alec gave them a hard tug, but they were so tight, that he couldn’t shift much.

“Fuck!”, Alec swore.

How could this happen?

 _“I wouldn’t have thought that it would be that easy to get you, Alexander Lightwood.”_ The voice sounded in his head again. He didn’t recognize it and he was pretty sure he didn’t even know the person, but the person definitely knew him. And he kidnapped him, because he needed him for something. Alec was pretty sure of that, but for what?

“Think, Alec! Think!” He threw his head back against the wall, but immediately regretted it. A sharp pain drove through his head, from right where he got hit earlier. “Ow.”

Alec hated himself right now. How could he be so unguarded? It was his own fault, that he was captured in this cell. He didn’t deserve to be rescued. This was all on him, so he had to find his own way out of this situation. Besides, nobody would miss him really. Maybe Izzy or Jace, but he wasn’t worth the effort.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a squeaking metal door opening. He looked to his right quickly and saw a person standing in the door frame. Alec couldn’t make out the face of the person, because the light from outside the cell was too bright.

“Who are you?”, Alec scowled.

“Elliot.”, a manly voice laughed. “Nice to meet you, Alexander Lightwood.”

Alec immediately registered his voice from before. In front of Magnus apartment.

  _Magnus._ Alec simply ran out on him, left him alone. He was probably angry. Why wouldn’t he? All he did, was take care of Alec and that’s how the Shadowhunter thanked him.  Alec heard it in Magnus voice, the angry tone, the hurt. He was pretty sure Magnus would hate him.

Alec was such a dick. Magnus was the best thing, that could happen to him and Alec knew that. But no. He got too scared of his feelings. He could fight demons and kill them, but he couldn’t admit to his own feelings. His whole life he had learned, that feelings made him weak, but was it really that way?

“So you don’t want to talk to me?”, the voice asked sweetly.

“What do you want from me?”, Alec asked through gritted teeth.

“Oh. Someone’s impatient.”, Elliot laughed happily. Alec just starred at the black face.

“Alright, Alright.” Elliot walked into the room now and kneeled in front of Alec. “You- “, he poked his index finger into Alec’s chest. “- are just a means for the purpose. We don’t really need **you.** We just need your people to try and get you back.”

“Why?”, Alec asked confused. “What do you need from them?”

“Oh come on. You Nephilim always seem to be oh so smart. Why don’t you tell me?”

Now that Elliot called him Nephilim, he noticed that Elliot himself wasn’t a Shadowhunter. He had white hair, an olive shimmer to his skin and pointed ears.

“You’re a Faerie.”, Alec mumbled.

“Wow! So smart.”, Elliot stated sarcastically.

Why would a faerie need him? What would they possibly want? And more importantly, to what do have Shadowhunters access and Faeries not? Or more like, what do Faeries think Nephilim have access to?

And then it dawned to him. “The Cup.”

“I’m so impressed, smart little Shadowhunter!”, Elliot grinned mockingly.

“Why would you think we have it?”

“Well you have Clarissa Fairchild, don’t you? And she has the cup.” Elliot stood up from where he kneeled and walked over to the small window, which was barely the size of his head.

“No she hasn’t.”, Alec spit out.

“But she will have it and until then we will keep you here.”

“Even if she would find it, they wouldn’t give it to you. Not because you kidnapped a single meaningless Shadowhunter.”

“Oh…but you aren’t. Even if you wouldn’t mean enough to your little family – which you actually do – you still mean a lot to a different person.”, Elliot turned around again, an evil smile on his face.

“Yeah? Why don’t you tell me, who that person would be?”, Alec asked dryly. He didn’t know another person besides Isabelle and Jace, who would do anything to get him back, not even his parents would.

“Magnus Bane.”, Elliot simply stated.

Alec froze in place and frowned. “No. He doesn’t care.”

“Oh trust me, he does. I watched you for a while, you know? Which means I also could watch Magnus around you. I had a good friend of mine keeping me company, who actually knows Magnus for quite a while now. She told me she didn’t see him like that for quite a while. Actually never. He is so madly in love with you already and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know himself yet. But what **I** know is, that he would do everything in his power to save his new, cute Shadowhunter boy. Even stealing the cup from the Nephilim.” Elliot was now in front of him again, kneeling and his face close to Alec’s. His voice had gone quieter the closer he came, until it was only a whisper.

Alec didn’t know what to say. All his word got stuck in the back of his throat. He couldn’t believe what he just heard.

“I see.”, Elliot whispered, small mocking smile on his face. “You like him too, don’t you?”

Alec knew he was right. He liked Magnus, he had to admit it to himself, but he wouldn’t admit it to the faerie. He wouldn’t allow himself to look vulnerable in front of him. Instead he spat Elliot right in the face. Latter looked surprised for a short moment - only a second – before he drew his fist back and punched Alec hard in the face.

“Fucking Bastard! You really are stupid!”, Elliot gritted out and stood up quickly. “You should be careful or maybe I’ll kill you before your little friends can find you.”

Without waiting for a reply from Alec he turned around and walked out of the room again, locking the door behind him.

Alec let out a deep breath. He could taste blood in his mouth and he felt some running down from his nose. He was pretty sure his cheek would bruise in a few hours.

Nevertheless, Alec didn’t care. All he could think about, was what Elliot had told him. Was it really true or was he just playing a game? On the other side, why would he? He wouldn’t have anything from it, apart from messing with Alec. If it wasn’t true, Magnus wouldn’t come, get him and give the cup over, would he? And that would mean the chance, that the faerie gets the cup, would be lesser.

Also Magnus had basically admitted to Alec himself, that he felt something for him.

 _“For almost a century I’ve closed myself off to feeling anything for anyone…men or women. You’ve unlocked something in me.”,_ Alec could hear Magnus’ voice ringing in the back of his head. He hadn’t believed it, when he first heard the words – he couldn’t believe it – but now it all made sense. Now everything was clear in his head, even his own feelings. He knew, he wasn’t in love with Magnus yet, but maybe he could fall in love with him, because he knew he liked Magnus too. A lot. And he wanted him; wanted him to be his and he wanted to be Magnus’. Even if he still felt something for Jace, which he wasn’t even sure of anymore, it didn’t matter. He would figure it out eventually.

What he was 100% sure of though, was that he would get out of this cell and he would smooch Magnus right on his stupid face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you like it?  
> I didn't see anyone in the comments, who had the right guess. :D So I hope it was a nice surprise.


	9. Everybody wants to rule the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to write a chapter from Magnus point of view. I don't know if I like it or not, but I can't really write Magnus thoughts and feelings as good as I can write Alec's. Maybe that's because I can relate to Alec more. Nevertheless I hope you enjoy the chapter. ^^

Magnus was just lying on the couch with Chairman Meow sprawled out on his chest, when he heard the doorbell ringing, which let to him letting out an annoyed groan. He had cancelled all his clients for the day, because he wasn’t feeling right for any company. Instead he just wanted to have a day to himself, watching Project Runway and cuddling with his cat.

“Ugh. Not feeling right for company. What do you think, Chairman? Do we just ignore whoever is out there?”

The Chairman gave a small meow, stretched his legs and jumped down on the floor to waddle off into the kitchen, probably to find some food.

“Great.”, Magnus turned on his side so he could continue to watch Project Runaway, which was actually quite interesting, when the doorbell rang again. Magnus gave a grumble and continued to ignore the intruder. Alec running away from him yesterday hurt him more than he would like to admit. When did he even start caring so much for a Shadowhunter?

The doorbell rang again, this time not stopping.

“Ugh. How can a person be that annoying?”, Magnus mumbled, standing up and going to answer the door. He was glad, that he at least got dressed and styled today.

“Who’s daring to annoy the High Warlock of Brooklyn?”, Magnus asked in a bitter and slightly angry voice.

“It’s Isabelle. Can we come up?”, the voice of Alec’s sister came through the speaker. Instantly Magnus was interested in what was to come. If Isabelle was there and she was talking in the “we”-form, then it was more likely than not, that Alec was with her.

“Yeah. Come on up.” He opened the door, so they could come in and walked back into his living room, fixing himself a drink. A slight feeling of nervousness overcame him at the thought of Alec. He didn’t know how the Shadowhunter would behave when he saw him again.

Magnus took a sip of his drink, when he heard Jace angry voice behind him. “Where is Alec?!”

With a confused expression, Magnus turned around and looked at the group standing in front of him. Jace, Isabelle, Clary and Simon, but no Alec.

“What do you mean? I thought he was with you.” Magnus didn’t understand what was happening. He saw Alec leaving and he was sure the Shadowhunter would return to the institute.

“Obviously not. That’s why we came here.”, Jace snapped right back.

Isabelle put a reassuring hand on Jace’ arm. “Calm down.” Then she looked back to Magnus. “Why isn’t he with you anymore?”

“He left yesterday morning.”

“But why? I thought he needed healing?”, Jace asked angrily.

“He did, but he wanted to leave. I couldn’t just keep him here, if he didn’t want to stay.”, Magnus answered harshly. He wasn’t having any of Jace accusations. He wasn’t their pet dog or anything. Yes, he was glad to help them, especially Alec, but that didn’t mean he had to let himself be treated like that.

“Well great.”, Jace grumbled.

“Okay, what is going on?”, Magnus asked confused. He felt like there was more going on, than Alec not going directly to the institute. Why else would Jace make such a scene? “Maybe Alec is just out on a walk or something. He had a lot on his mind, when he left. He will return at some point.”

He didn’t know, if he tried to reassure Alec’s siblings or himself, but he knew he had to calm down the situation. They were clearly overreacting, weren’t they? But then he saw the colour leaving everyone’s faces.

“Someone took him. They got in contact with us this morning.”, Clary spoke up, trying to explain the situation.

“What?” Magnus felt himself freeze. What do they mean, someone took Alec? That couldn’t happen. Alec was a trained Shadowhunter, he couldn’t just get kidnapped. On the other side Alec seemed pretty confused and troubled when he left. And adding to all of this he was also unarmed.

This was all Magnus fault. He should have stopped Alec. He shouldn’t even have pushed him that far.

“Who took him?”, Magnus asked with a strangled voice, that surprised himself.

“We don’t know. They didn’t say anything.”, Izzy said worriedly.

“What do they want?” Magnus was sure they would want something.  Alec was just a lever to get something from them.

“What do you think? The Cup of course. The one thing everyone wants.”, Jace answered harshly. Magnus could now understand why he was incensed. He felt himself panic too.

Magnus couldn’t understand, how he did fall for the Shadowhunter so fast, but now that he was missing and probably in danger, the warlock could feel it. He could feel it deep in his bones, that he cared for the Shadowhunter. Hell he didn’t just care for him; he would die for him. Never in his life would he have thought, that one day he would fall so deeply and madly for a mortal, that he would die himself, to safe him.

_“How could this happen? How could I fall in love so fast?”_

**Love.** Was it love he felt for Alec? He didn’t know, but he was pretty sure he was on a good way there. With every word, every step, every movement the Shadowhunter made he was falling deeper and deeper for him and he knew the Shadowhunter felt something for him too. He was at least interested.

But Magnus had to shove those feelings aside for a minute. First of all, he needed to help his siblings and Clary and Simon get him back. He wanted to know for sure that Alec was safe and sound again and then he could figure out the rest. And maybe, just maybe, everything would work out for Magnus just once and he will be happy again after centuries of being alone and closing himself off.

Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo what do you think will they do to save Alec? Let me know how you think it will go down. ^^


	10. Thanks for making me a fighter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go. I have a new chapter for you. It was really hard finishing it in time, but I made it. Just for you. ^^ Enjoy it.

Alec felt himself dozing off slightly, his head hanging low. He didn’t really know for sure, how long he was already in this cell, but guessing by the light changes coming from outside, it was around 3 days. Elliot did come in two times, taking Alec to the toilet, but apart from that he was alone all the time. He didn’t move, eat or drink anything and sleeping was also no option. His stomach hurt from the emptiness inside of it, that it felt like it digests itself. Elliot had told him that he would send some food soon, but Alec wasn’t sure if he wanted something from that faerie.

He heard the heavy metal door opening with a loud shriek. With heavy weighted eyes he looked up to find someone standing in the cell, who he didn’t know. It was a boy, not older than 17 with brown curly hair and pointed ears. His face showed no emotion, as he walked towards Alec. He was holding a small tray with food and a glass of water in his hands.

“Time to eat something.”, the boy said, setting down the tray beside Alec.

Alec’s eyes followed him, as he reached for a spoon and took a bit of what looked like mash on it. He held it in front of Alec’s face, probably wanting to feed the Shadowhunter, but Alec wasn’t having it.

He looked at the boy in front of him, an idea forming in his head. The light coming from the opened cell door confirmed it for him.  He continued starring at the faeries eyes, trying his hardest to ignore the food in front of him, even so his tummy hurt.

“You need to eat. I’m not leaving until you do. I have my instructions.”, the boy said, his facial expression changing slightly, but Alec couldn’t read it.

“I’m not letting you feed me.”, Alec choked out, his voice raspy from the lack of water in the past few days.

“Well, I’m not leaving before you eat.”

“Then better make yourself a home.”, Alec joked sarcastically.

The faerie now looked annoyed and rolled his eyes. “Really now?”

“Well, you could always make my hands free, so I can eat by myself.”

“Oh and then you would eat, or what?”, the boy asked annoyed.

“Yeah I guess. It isn’t half as humiliating as being fed. Plus maybe I get a feeling in my arms again.”, Alec answered as casually as he could.

“And why should I trust you? What if you do something stupid?” Alec could clearly see the scepticism on the boy’s face, but he also saw consideration. Alec just had to push him a little bit more.

“You don’t have to trust me. You could also just stay here, because you didn’t fulfil your instructions. It’s your decision.” Alec tried to sound as casual as possible and acted like he didn’t really care.

The faerie clearly thought about it, Alec could see the conflict in those eyes.

“By the way, my feet are also tied together, so how will I be able to do something? I clearly can’t run away.”, Alec tried to convince the boy. He slowly lost his good arguments, but this was his chance and maybe the only one he would get.

With a little bit of hesitation left, the boy gave a small nod. “Okay, but you rather don’t do anything. I do have a knife and I will not hesitate to use it.” He moved to get it out of his belt, holding it up as if to prove his point.

“Alright.”, Alec simply agreed.

The faerie moved to get Alec’s left hand free, then his right one. When he finished he got in front of Alec, holding the knife up in front of Alec’s body, but still leaving enough room so he could eat.

To keep his appearance up and to seem trustful, Alec reached out and pulled the tray on his lap, but he knew better than to eat something a faerie made.

“So what is this?”, Alec asked casually, looking down at the tray. And it worked. The boy got distracted from Alec’s face and looked down at the tray. Alec didn’t hesitate a second. He grabbed the boy’s wrist and with his other hand he ripped the knife out of the boy’s hand. Then he pulled up his feet and kicked them against his enemy’s chest.

As Alec did already suspect the boy wasn’t really trained. His reaction time was too slow to keep up against the Shadowhunter’s speed. With a swift move of the knife, Alec cut his feet free, but before he could stand up he was pushed down to the cold stones again.

“I fucking knew it.”, the boy pressed out angrily between his teeth.

“Never told you, you could trust me.”, Alec gave back before gathering momentum to roll them both over. He took the moment of surprise to hit the faerie in the face, but before Alec could take another hit, the boy pushed him down from himself. So hard, that Alec hit the wall with his whole back and his head. White spots began to dance in his field of vision and he had to admit, that he underestimated the faerie. Nevertheless, he couldn’t give up now.

With pain in his whole body he stumbled to his feet, but they were kicked away under him not even a second later. His head hit the floor again and he felt instantly sick from the pain jolting through him.

The faerie didn’t hesitate to get above him again, holding Alec’s hands down above his head and the knife, which he probably had got back sometime during the fight, to his throat.

“You underestimated me, didn’t you? Well that’s bad for you, because I also have permission to kill you, if you don’t cooperate.”

“You wouldn’t”, Alec gritted out.

“Oh, but I would. Just imagine the reaction of your people. It would be hilarious.”, the boy smiled evilly. He was so different now, from what Alec would have thought at the beginning.

“You would violate the agreement with the clave.”, Alec contradicted.

“We already did. And we also will, when we finally get the cup.”

“Stop talking and kill him already. His stupid friends are here and they didn’t cooperate with our requirement, so he no longer has a value to us.” Alec recognized the voice coming from the hallway, it was Elliot’s partner. She was with him one time and he had heard them talking in front of his cell door.

He heard the steps just passing by, already leaving again.

“Alright. Goodbye Nephilim. It was nice to play around for a little bit, but you heard her.”

Before Alec could reply anything or even move, the knife was gone from his throat. Instead it was now racing down to his heart and Alec couldn’t bring himself to fight anymore, to exhausted from everything that happened in the past few weeks. Instead he closed his eyes, waiting for his end to finally arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me. '^^


	11. The sharp knife of a short life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best one, but I needed to post a new chapter fast, before you would kill me. Not that this one will actually change that. '^^

“Is this it?”, Jace asked, pointing to an abandoned building he could see through the last few trees of the forest.

“Yes.”, Magnus confirmed.

“Doesn’t look very intimidating to me.”, Jace stated.

“Still, we need to be careful. I still don’t know anything apart from this location.”, Magnus gave to consideration.

They had spent two days finding out, where Alec was and how to get there. Also they tried to find out more about who took Alec, how many they were, if they had weapons and so on. Unfortunately, every attempt had failed.

So here they were now: In front of an old abandoned fabric building, not knowing what to expect at all and if they even had a chance. Still they had all agreed to take that risk for Alec.

“Careful is my middle name.”, Jace joked, to which everyone reacted with a snort or a sarcastic “sure”.

They left the forest behind them, carefully sneaking to the building, always aware of the fact that they could get spotted.

“We need to find a way in.”, Isabelle whispered as they were all pressed to the brick wall of the building with their backs.

“How about the back door over there?”, Simon suggested, pointing to an old metal door. Jace didn’t even answer, he just headed straight for the door and pulled at it, but it wasn’t opening. Without hesitation he pulled out his stele and drew an opening rune on it. The door sprung open and all of them headed inside hurriedly as soon as they checked, if it was all clear.

“Where do we search first?”, Clary asked as she looked down the corridor. There were so many doors and she could see, that the hallway spread into two more hallways a few feet away from them.

“I would say, that we- “, Jace was interrupted by a loud bang behind them. They all sprung around quickly, to find that the metal door has fallen shut.

“That freaked the shit out of me.”, Simon spoke and turned back around only to freeze again. “Guys?”

“What?”, Jace asked annoyed and turned around too, the other ones also following.

Magnus felt his heart rate speed up immediately. In front of them stood a faerie and a vampire, both grinning evilly.

“Welcome. Didn’t think we would see you here so soon.”, the boy spoke.

“Who are you?”, Jace asked, voice pressed.

“Who cares? All we know is, that you didn’t do what we wanted you to do.”

“We don’t have the cup and we also don’t know where it is.”, Magnus spoke with his High Warlock of Brooklyn voice, trying to sound powerful.

“Oh Magnus, come on. Do you really think we are that stupid?”, the vampire asked. Magnus was sure he knew her from somewhere, but couldn’t add it up together. Her long black her, that evil looking face, her small but tall figure; it all seemed familiar to Magnus.

“Where is Alec?”, Isabelle asked now.

Neither of them answered her, instead they were still looking at Magnus, who finally recognized the vampire. “I know you. You’re friends with Camille.”

“Was. I _was_ friends with her. She got boring.”, the vampire answered. Magnus wanted to say, that her name was Ciardha.

“So instead you choose to become even more evil than her?”, Magnus asked sarcastically.

“If you wanna put it that way, sure. Camille always talked about us becoming powerful, but never archived that. So I decided to take it upon myself.”

“And you have sought help from a fairy.”, Magnus stated, pointing to the faerie standing beside her.

“That, my dear Magnus, is my friend Elliot. We’re equal in this whole thing.”, she smiled at her partner, a knowing smile. They seemed to really trust each other, that the other one wouldn’t betray them, and obviously they could understand each other just through their eyes.

“Okay, but your plan will not work. We can’t get you what you want, because we don’t know where it is. So just give us Alec back or you will regret your choice.”

“Oh Magnus. Do you really think I’m scared of you and your little Shadowhunter friends?”, Elliot laughed, seemingly amused.

Magnus didn’t react to that, just said a clear “I won’t repeat myself again.”.

“Well, we won’t too. We told you our conditions, you didn’t fulfil them, so we took our consequences.”

“What do you mean consequences?”, Jace asked through gritted teeth.

“He wasn’t any use to us anymore, so we killed him.”, Elliot stated uninterested, faking annoyance as if to say “What else did you expect?”.

Magnus felt his heart drop. Ice-cold fear ran through his veins, but at the same time hot boiling anger. He tried to calm his upcoming panic down. They were just playing with them, everything was just a lie.

“No you didn’t.”, Jace stated coldly.

“But we have.”, Ciardha agreed with Elliot, as if she had to confirm, what he said. As if she was more trustful, but she wasn’t. Not one bit. Magnus knew that too well.

“Actually _I_ did.”, a voice interrupted them. They all looked at the person now standing behind Elliot and Ciardha. It was a boy, not older than 17, holding up a knife. When Magnus turned his gaze down to it, he felt a cold chill running down his spine. There was blood on it as well as on the boy’s hand. And it was a lot.

Panic rose in Magnus and he let his magic travel towards the knife, trying hard to not get noticed, because they would think he was about to attack them. He was still sure they were just playing with them, so he didn’t want to risk a fight just yet. It all changed, when he finally reached the blood and analysed it. This wasn’t a game.

“It’s definitely Shadowhunter blood. Alec’s blood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know.... You still wanna kill me. :D  
> (Please don't.)


	12. I Gotta Have Roots Before Branches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter for you lovelies. Thanks for all the sweet comments you allways leave. I really love reading them and I really apreciate them. <3

Everything happened really fast after he spoke those two sentences. One moment the others were looking at him to make sure he was serious and hundred percent sure, and the next moment they were involved in a fight. They were clearly a majority compared to their enemies and therefor they had an advantage. Apart from that, they were also driven by rage and loss, which seemed to make them even stronger. Within a few minutes they managed to kill Elliot and Ciardha, but Magnus still didn’t feel relieved. The murder of Alec was still right in front of them and even if they would kill him now too, that wouldn’t bring Alec back.

Magnus was just about to kill the faerie with a blast of his magic, when arms wrapped around the boy’s neck from behind. Magnus eyes flickered up to the person standing behind the faerie and he felt a heavy weight lifting of his heart. Standing there was Alec, looking half dead, but he was alive. There was a relieved “Alexander” leaving his lips, before he could really stop it. His emotions were going all over board, so much, that he nearly didn’t hear Alec speak to the faerie.

“You were really good at fighting, but you were terrible at aiming. You missed my heart, but I’ll not miss your neck.”, the Shadowhunter spoke in a voice, filled with a raspy tone and pain. With these words he snapped the faeries neck and let him fall motionless to the floor.

Just then Magnus could scan the Shadowhunter all over and his breath hitched. Alec had become skinnier, his skin was even paler than normally and his wrists had red streaks on it. But what was even more alarming was the gash in Alec’s shoulder, which was dripping blood. A lot of blood.

“Alec!”, Isabelle exclaimed relieved, which pulled Magnus out of his shocked trance.

“Hi.”, the Shadowhunter smiled weakly, before he stumbled over to the wall and slid down into a sitting position. All five of them ran towards him immediately, all concerned and alarmed.

Izzy let herself fall to her knees on his right side, Magnus on his left. Jace kneeled in front of his parabatai, pulling out his stele to draw an Iratze and a rune for blood loss.  

“Alec.”, Izzy spoke softly, voice slightly quivering. She laid a hand on her brother’s cheek, looking at him worriedly.

“‘M fine.”, he mumbled, closing his eyes and by that proofing the opposite.

“Alexander, stay with us. Don’t fall asleep now.”, Magnus spoke softly, looking to Jace’ work and then back to the wound still seeping at Alec’s shoulder. “The Iratze is working to slow. He is losing too much blood.”

“Then fucking do something, warlock.”, Jace snapped.

“Hey…don’t fight.”, Alec mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Okay, okay. But do me a favour, will you?”, Magnus smiled even though he wasn’t feeling it.

“Anything.”, the Shadowhunter whispered. Magnus heart skipped a beat, but he tried to ignore it as good as he could.

“Look at me.” At first Magnus thought Alec wasn’t going to do it, but then the Shadowhunter’s eyes fluttered open and Magnus could look in their beautiful blue colour again. The warlock felt his heartrate picking up. He loved those extraordinary blue eyes. They made him feel things he didn’t feel for so long.

Magnus shook his head, trying to focus back on the matter in front of him. “That’s perfect. Now don’t close your eyes again. I’ll heal your wound, just keep looking at me.” Magnus continued looking into those beautiful eyes for a few seconds, waiting for an answer, but obviously Alec was too weak to give one, so Magnus just got to work. He concentrated on the wound and let his magic flow into it, watching as it slowly closed again and the blood stopped running out of it.

“How are you feeling now?”, Magnus asked once he finished also healing the Shadowhunter’s wrists.

“’M tired and sore and…” Alec stopped speaking midsentence, looking at Jace.

“And what?”, the latter asked impatiently, but Alec just kept starring at him.

Magnus guessed whatever Alec was going to say wasn’t going along with his pride. But the warlock also knew, that pride was one of the less concerning things right now. “What else Alexander?”, Magnus asked softly.

The Shadowhunter’s eyes flicked back to the warlock, immediately softening as he saw the worry in those stunning yellow green eyes. “My whole body feels weak.”, he mumbled.

“That’s okay. It’ll get better once you gain more blood again and rest yourself. I’ll make sure of it.”, Magnus spoke softly in a reassuring voice.

“We should bring him back to the institute.”, Jace said.

“No. I’ll portal us to my apartment. I can take better care of him there.”, Magnus decided.

“We can take care of him too. Besides, we need to report to the institute.”, Jace argued.

“Then you do just that. I have magic that will help him much better, so let me take him to my apartment now.”, Magnus spoke determined.

“Okay, would you guys stop it?”, Isabelle asked annoyed. “If you can’t agree with each other let me decide.”

“No. I want to go to Magnus’”, Alec spoke, which caused everyone looking at him with surprise. Magnus felt butterfly’s dancing in his tummy. Alec choose him over his parabatai, which he thought he was in love with. Besides, Magnus never got chosen by a Shadowhunter over another Shadowhunter, because Magnus was still “just” a downworlder. But seemingly not to Alec.

“What?”, Jace asked confused. Magnus could understand him. Normally Alec would follow his duty and go back to the institute to report to the clave, probably even ignoring the state he was in right now.

“Let him”, Isabelle said firmly.

“But- “, Jace tried again.

“Jace.”, Clary interrupted him warningly. She still stood behind them with Simon, probably not really knowing what to do, but she caught on to this faster than Jace seemed to, who nowlooked up to her and visibly deflated.

“Fine.”, he grumbled. “Bring him to your apartment. We will drop by as soon as we reported to the clave.”

“Fine.”, Magnus agreed, already trying to get Alec up. Jace helped him until Magnus had Alec presses to his side with one of the Shadowhunters arms wrapped over his shoulder.

“Got him?”, Jace asked seemingly annoyed, because of having to give in.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Take care of him and don’t you dare let him go away this time.” It was obviously a threat, but Magnus didn’t care. He thought to himself, that he would like it to never let Alec go again. He would like to keep him forever, trying to make the shy, beautiful and strong boy happy and let the boy make him happy.

He didn’t spoke those words of course. He kept them to himself, because the others didn’t need to know about his feelings. Instead he opened a portal, so he could bring Alec into the safety of his apartment. He thought, that the latter had fallen asleep on him, because he was hanging heavily on Magnus side, but before they stepped through the portal Alec slurred something, that made the warlock feel overwhelmed with emotions and tingles in his bones.

“Just so you know, I’m going to kiss you once I can feel and move my body again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't want to kill me anymore. :D


	13. Don't Wanna Waste The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we go once again with a new chapter, that has nearly everything in it what you'll need to breath. :D  
> I hope you enjoy it! ;)

As Alec stepped out of the portal and into Magnus’ apartment, he nearly tripped over his own feet. The only thing preventing him from falling were Magnus’ strong arms wrapped securely around his waist.

Magnus had brought them directly to his bedroom, which Alec remembered from his first night in there. The only thing that changed was, that now Alec really wanted to drown in that bed with its comfortable pillows and comforter and the amazing smell of Magnus. He should probably feel awkward and useless like he did the first time, but he was so tired that he couldn’t find it in himself to care.  He didn’t want to pretend to be a strong, indestructible, perfect Shadowhunter like he always did; he was anything but it. His parents would be furious, if he would give in to his true feelings, but he found himself desperately wanting to be, who he was.

“Alexander? Are you still with me?”, Magnus asked concerned, interrupting Alec out of his tired state.

“Yeah.”, he breathed out heavily. His eyes felt so heavy, that he really wanted to give in to the weight and just close them.

“Just sit down on the bed. I’ll get you something to eat and drink. Maybe some other clothes.” With that the warlock quickly strutted out of the room to collect everything he needed. Alec on the other side sat down on the soft bed and let himself fall onto his back, a content sigh leaving his mouth. He couldn’t help but let his eyes drive shut. For the first time in days he felt calm and at peace. Here in Magnus loft he felt so different; safe, accepted, cared for. Magnus was right in the night Alec got kidnapped. He normally did run away from situations he couldn’t control. Even worse, he ran away from who he really was and what he desired. Magnus knew that, knew him already way too good, but maybe that was all Alec actually needed. Someone, who knew him perfectly, who knew what he needed, who knew who he truly was and who accepted that without any argument. Maybe Magnus was all he ever needed.

He didn’t know how long he laid there in his tired state, thinking about what he felt and what he needed, when Magnus came back into the room. He wasn’t even sure, if he did fall asleep until that moment.

“Did you fall asleep?”, Magnus soft voice asked in front of the bed.

“No.”, Alec murmured back.

“Sit up then. I got you something to eat and something to drink.”

Just then Alec realized, how dry his throat was and how empty his stomach. He could definitely use both of the things Magnus brought him. With his last strength remained, he tried to sit up again, but he couldn’t quite make it, but he didn’t even have to, because Magnus was already helping him with careful but firm hands on his back. As Alec finally sat up, Magnus sat down a tray, with delicious looking food and a bottle of water on it, on his lap.

“Eat up. I’ll clean off the blood on your shoulder in the meantime. The faster we get this all over with, the faster you can go to sleep.”, Magnus spoke with a warm smile on his lips.

Even in the exhausted state Alec was in right now, he could feel a blush spreading on his cheeks. He wasn’t used to be treated like this, but he kind of liked it.

So after he took his shirt of, causing him to blush even more, he began eating, whilst Magnus cleaned off his shoulder. He was so careful with it, that it caused a fluttery feeling in Alec’s tummy. When he finished eating the whole dish and drank up most of the bottle of water, Magnus took the tray and gave him a bowl of water and a washing cloth instead. “Clean yourself up. I also got you some clothes of mine, which are too big on me, but they should be perfectly fine on you.”

“Thank you Magnus…like really thank you.”

“No problem. I would do it at any time. If you need something I’m right in the living room.”, Magnus smiled.

“Okay.”

Alec didn’t really know what else to say. He felt overwhelmed right now. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep and he should really get into that bed. So he quickly got out of these disgusting, dirty and ripped clothes, washed himself and got into the clothes Magnus gave him. They smelled like him. Sandalwood and just the pure scent of Magnus.

Crawling into the bed and curling himself into a cocoon of Magnus comforter, which also smelled heavenly of the warlock, Alec fell fast into a deep sleep.

~~~~~*~~~~~

When Alec woke up again, it was already getting darker outside. Guessing by that he must have slept for hours, but he didn’t even care. Here in that soft comfortable bed he could sleep for so many more hours. It would be even better, if Magnus would be here with him. Alec did remember how good he slept the last time Magnus laid beside him.

At the thought of Magnus, Alec’s heart started to beat faster. He remembered what he had said to the warlock before they had stepped through the portal and he had meant it in that moment. But now he wasn’t sure, if he still had the confidence to really do it.

Deciding, that he firstly had to find Magnus, Alec got out of the bed, even though he didn’t truly want to. As he walked down the hallway he heard voices from the kitchen.

“I don’t think he really meant it. He was half asleep.” That was definitely Magnus voice. Alec sneaked closer to the door so he would be able to hear better.

“Well I do believe he meant it like that. Alec doesn’t normally say what he wants, but in the state he was in he couldn’t even think about what he should say and what not. So he just spoke out his desires.” That was definitely his sister speaking with Magnus.

When he looked through the doorway he could see them both standing at the counter, obviously so deep into their conversation about him, that they didn’t even notice him.

“Exactly. He was in such a state, that he couldn’t _think._ He didn’t know what he was talking about.”

“So you’re convinced he just talked bullshit?”, Izzy asked challenging.

“No…I mean I don’t know. Alexander is kind of really confusing sometimes. It’s hard for me to read him. I don’t really know what he thinks or wants. So how am I supposed to know?”, Magnus asked desperately.

So Magnus didn’t believe him?

“You seemed to read me just fine until now.”, Alec spoke up, before he could hesitate again. Both Isabelle and Magnus whipped around and looked at him; slightly shocked.

“Alexander! How are you feeling? “, Magnus asked immediately.

“I’m fine. But that’s not what is important right now.” Alec stepped closer to Magnus, feeling confidence flow through him with every step. The surprised look on the warlocks face only made him more confident. “So you don’t believe me?”

“I…I would like to…but…I mean you were always- “Alec had never really heard the High Warlock of Brooklyn stutter so much like right in this moment. The Shadowhunter had to admit, that he liked to make Magnus react like that. Normally it was the other way around.

But as much as he enjoyed it, he had to shut the warlock up and go through with his own plan, so he pulled Magnus in by his neck and kissed him. All the nervousness seemed to flow out of his body and instead a feeling of warmness made its way into it. He felt tingly and light all over. Never in his life would he have thought, that something could feel so good and right.

Kissing Magnus was perfect. After the warlock had overcome the first seconds of shock, he kissed Alec back softly, as if he was the most precious thing. He drew the Shadowhunter closer by his waist, his hands holding firmly onto him, but still gently. Alec was pretty sure he could get addicted to those kisses.

“Guys?”, Isabelle interrupted them, which caused reality to crush back on Alec.

“What’s going on here?”, Jace voice came from the kitchen door.

Alec quickly pulled away from the kiss and spun around to look at his parabatai with wide eyes.

_“Fuck!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? What will happen next?  
> This was actually the second last chapter. Yep, you heard me right. The next chapter will be the last one, but also longer than my normal chapters. I already finished it, but you'll have to wait until next sunday. Just let me tell you, you're in for a real treat. ;)


	14. You and I, We Will Rise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg. This is literally the last chapter. I'm kinda emotional about this and I don't even know why. Maybe it's because I won't get to read your lovely comments anymore, which I always loved so much. I really was always looking forward to reading them. So thank you so much for always writing them for me. It means a lot to me.  
> Also thank you for everyone, who read this and gave it kudos. That also means a lot to me.  
> When I first started posting the story I would've never thought, that anybody would read this and actually like it. But it looks like you did and that really makes me happy.  
> So thank you all so, so, so much. <3  
> Okay enough now of that emotional rant. I present you the last chapter of this story, which is extra long and has extra Malec in it. Enjoy it. :)

Everything went quiet for what felt for Alec like hours. Everybody was looking at him, waiting for him to do something, but he couldn’t. He felt like frozen.

He didn’t regret kissing Magnus – no he was actually really glad and proud that he did it – but he didn’t think about his siblings in that moment and them finding out like that. Well, Izzy seemed to already know that he was gay, maybe she always did. And maybe she knew that Alec had feelings for Magnus before Alec even knew himself, but Jace didn’t. Alec was pretty sure of that and he was always glad, that it was that way, because if Jace would’ve known, then maybe he would’ve caught on to Alec’s feelings towards him. And Alec didn’t want to know, what his reaction would’ve been like.

But now standing here a few feet away from Jace, after he had been caught kissing Magnus, a man and also a warlock, he could feel the anxiety of rejection pulsing through him.

“Alec- “, Jace started, but Alec immediately interrupted him.

“I know, I know. I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t tell anybody. Izzy found out by herself. I didn’t want anybody to know, because I am not supposed to be gay. If the clave finds out I’m screwed. I didn’t know, how anybody would react, especially our parents, so I just kept it to myself. It was always easy, because there wasn’t anybody I was interested in. At least nobody I had a chance with. But now everything changed. I… I really like Magnus. And I know he is a downworlder, but I don’t care. To me he is just as much human as I am. If not even more… I would understand if you hate me now, but- “

“Okay, I’m going to interrupt you just there.”, Jace spoke quickly.

Alec took a deep breath after his long rant. He didn’t know, if he ever talked that much in a row. Nervously he drew his hand through his hair, waiting for whatever reaction was to come from Jace.

“I don’t care who you like, Alec. You’re still my parabatai. You’re still yourself. Besides, I always suspected you were gay.”

Alec felt stunned. He never thought, that Jace would react so calm about this. “You knew?”, he asked confused and surprised.

“Alec, I saw the way you always looked at me, because you thought you had feelings for me.”, Jace smiled.

“Thought?” Alec felt kind of stupid, just repeating Jace’ words in a question, but his brain couldn’t keep up with everything that was happening.

“Yeah…I mean come on. You never really felt something like _love_ for me. Maybe you had a little crush on me, but I also was the only male you were always around. We trained together, we fought together; we spent most of our time together. But now you found someone you’re really interested in and more importantly, who is also interested in you. So now you don’t feel the same way about me anymore, do you?” When Jace finished he had a self-satisfied grin on his face and everybody else looked stunned.

Alec found himself thinking about what Jace had just said. He was right. They both spent so much time with each other growing up. More than Alec has spent with anybody else besides his sister and fact was, that they actually had stronger feelings for each other than normal Shadowhunters, but that was because of their parabatai bond and because they were brothers. They swore to stand by each other until death. Maybe Alec just always wished he had feelings for him. Maybe he was so desperate to feel some love, that he just imagined everything, but now that he had met Magnus, he knew he could feel so much stronger for someone. Magnus made him feel so good, so cared for. Jace did the opposite. Of course not on purpose, but it was just the fact that Alec knew he wasn’t supposed to feel like that for his parabatai and his feelings would never be returned. Now that he knew what he felt for Magnus and compared that to the feelings he thought he had for Jace, he had to agree with his parabatai. It was just a crush – maybe a big one, but still just a crush – caused out of his own desperate need of love, that he never got to feel.

“You’re right.”, Alec agreed, which caused Magnus behind him to take a deep breath. “It was just a crush. But now…” He turned around to look at Magnus again. “…now that I’ve met Magnus I know I can feel so much stronger for someone. Magnus, I…I don’t know for sure what I feel for you right now, but when I was in that cell I had a lot of time to think. I know I feel something for you, that maybe is on its way to get even stronger. Maybe I can get to love you. I feel like I’m on my way there and I also know you feel something for _me_ , whatever that is. So if you want to, we can give that a try, because I would really like to try.”

Alec felt nervous and anxious now that he had spoken every thought out loud, which he had thought over these past few days in that cell. He couldn’t do anything else than wait for Magnus reaction. The warlock could change his world with just a few words. Alec never gave someone so much control over himself, but with Magnus everything was different. The warlock made him throw his normal attitude all over board.

“I think you should all leave.”, the warlock spoke, uncertainty in his voice, but he never drew his eyes away from Alec.

Alec felt his heart drop and his hope shatter. He had been so optimistic, that Magnus would want to try too, but now he threw him out. The Shadowhunter let his head drop and he turned around to leave with the others.

“Not you.”, Magnus spoke quickly, catching the Shadowhunter by his wrist. Alec turned back around again, looking at the warlock with surprise. “W-What?”

“You heard me.”

Alec looked over to the others, but they were already leaving. With a questioning look, he looked back to Magnus, He didn’t understand what was going on. Did the warlock want to be with him or not? It was quite confusing.

“You never cease to amaze me, Alexander.”, Magnus spoke when he finally heard the front door closing. “I’m going to kiss you again now.”

Alec couldn’t even keep on, before he felt the warlock’s lips on his again, this time with more force behind it as the first time, but still passionate and soft. Alec wasn’t even sure, how this was possible, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, because the warlock was kissing him and it felt so good.

He backed Magnus up to the counter and pushed him slightly against it. His hands found their own way to the warlock’s hips, giving them a light pressure. Magnus reacted fast and pushed one hand in Alec’s hair and the other one to Alec’s jaw. The Shadowhunter let out a broken moan at the feeling of Magnus hand pulling slightly at his hair. He drew his mouth away with a loud smack, earning him a disappointed noise from Magnus, but Alec didn’t hesitate for long. With ease he lifted the warlock up on the counter, so that their faces were on the same height. This action earned him a surprised look from Magnus, but he had no time to feel proud. He wanted those lips on his again, so he pulled Magnus in by his neck and smashed their lips together. Magnus let out a moan and put a leg around the Shadowhunter’s waist to pull him in closer. He let his tongue trace Alec’s bottom lip, earning a moan in response. Alec only hesitated for a second before he opened his mouth and instantly felt the warlocks tongue on his.

He never did something like that and he would be lying if he said, that it didn’t affect him.

Alec didn’t really think anymore, just let his intention act. His hand on Magnus hip pushed the button-up shirt up, which Magnus was wearing, so he could feel the warlocks warm skin underneath it. His own body felt hot all over and he felt short on breath, but he didn’t want to stop. Never wanted to stop again.

But Magnus thought otherwise. After this heated tongue kiss, he turned his head to the side, drawing in a deep breath. Alec on the other side couldn’t get enough of the warlock. He trailed kisses down his jaw to his neck, were he began to suck on the skin.

“Alec.”, Magnus breathed out a moan, which caused the Shadowhunter to suck harder. “Alexander…we need to stop.”

Those words didn’t make much sense to Alec. Why stop, when something did feel so good? He didn’t know, so he just continued the work on Magnus neck.

“Alexander…darling…stop.” Magnus caught all the strength remained in him to push Alec a few centimetres away from him. “We need to take a breath.”

“I’m fine.”, Alec spoke, trying to dive in again, but the warlock stopped him.

“I’m serious Alexander. If we want to really try this, we need to take it slow.”

And just like that everything came crushing back. Right. He asked Magnus to take a chance on him and he didn’t get an answer. Or was that right now the answer?

“So you want to try this with me?”, Alec asked breathless, still slightly out of it from the kiss.

“Oh sweet Alexander. Why else would I save you every time you get yourself into trouble? Why else would I be so honest about my feelings to you? Why else would I kiss you like that?”, Magnus asked, a cocky smile spreading out on his face at the last question.

Alec chuckled slightly, blush creeping its way on his already red cheeks. “Okay.”, he breathed out happy and relieved and then looked back down on Magnus lips.

“I really did wreck you there, didn’t I?”, Magnus smirked.

Alec blushed even harder at that, feeling insecurity coming back. He let his eyes flicker down to his hands, still resting on Magnus hip.

“Come here.”, Magnus spoke softly and pulled Alec into a hug. “What do you think about us calming down and then we can cuddle up on the couch to talk about this? Like really talk about it.”

Alec liked the idea, especially the cuddling. But then a question popped into his head. He drew back from the hug and looked seriously at Magnus. “What is _this?_ Like…are we…like boyfriends now?”

And again he felt a blush creeping its way onto his face.

“If you want to. We don’t have to rush anything.”, Magnus said carefully.

“No. I want to. I would really like that.”, Alec reassured him, speaking really fast.

“Okay. Then I’m your boyfriend and now come on and cuddle me on that sofa or I’ll have to cuddle with my cat.” Magnus jumped down from the counter and walked towards the living room. Alec watched him with a happy and goofy smile on his face. He didn’t know how everything changed so fast. One day everything went down the hill and the next day he was over the clouds and had a boyfriend, who he was already surprisingly comfortable with.

And yes, he didn’t know what the future would hold for him, but he was sure, that with Magnus and his friends by his side it would only be half as bad.

“Are you coming now or are going to keep standing there, grinning like a madman?”

Alec shook his head, his smile only getting bigger. He was finally happy for once.

“Coming!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Are you happy with the ending?  
> Maybe I'll write a sequel or a part two someday, but not so soon as I have exams in a few weeks for which I have to prepare for. Maybe I'll even start a new fanfiction. Who know? Fact is, that I had really fun writing it and with you amazing readers I would do it again and again. I love you. :*


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